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Eat, Pray, Love…

I am going to Bali.  It is never a place I’ve desired to go.  Like, ever.  I remember watching “Eat, Pray, Love” mostly to hear Eddie Vedder’s voice in the background.  I thought how silly it was of her (Julia Roberts) to travel all the way to India/Indonesia/Bali to ask about her shitty relationship.  And then, she goes back to basically do it again!

…Now that I am older, I think I understand that even though we may SAY we are doing something, the real reason may be unsaid.  Julia Robert’s frenemy at the Guru’s place asked her to forget about the X husband & to FORGIVE HERSELF.

I am just going to say it here.  I think I am going to Bali to forgive myself.  AND, to give myself permission to live again.  I am using it as a renewal of self. A new turning point in life that I am willing into being.

Back in 2012, when I was studying & practicing my psychic & mediumship skills, I met a shaman.  I asked her what I should focus my energy on.  She told me to just pick one! (Not so easy for this Anndrea!) She also told me I hadn’t hit my “spiritual awakening” yet.  (I was kinda taken aback.  I had recently gone through my Saturn return. I left my art teaching job and my annual art show goals, & moved 1000 miles north to live in the woods by myself.) She said this to me, “After your two children, you will have some eat-pray-love thing and then have your spiritual awakening”.  I remember side-eye looking at my frister, who was taking notes for me, like this lady was crazy! I wasn’t planning on having children and I certainly wasn’t going to be going to Indonesia.  I wanted to go to Egypt, duh!


I have 2 children.

I am going to Bali.

I am not sure how much eat-pray-love I plan on doing.  I think it will be more like eat-yoga-love yourself-rest-write…but, what do I know?!

I guess we will see about the spiritually awake part.  Time will tell.

I am traveling by myself.  Duluth, Chicago, LA, Fiji, Sydney, Bali.  I am leaving at 10am on the 23 of January and will arrive in Bali at 22:30 on the 25th of Jan.  I am challenging myself & bringing one backpack.  I got this super cute colorful carry-on approved one, in case you’re wondering. I picked the "surprise pack" color option & it's awesome! Plus, I was able to get $50 off with some good online coupons.

I will be meeting Katie with Attune Wellness.  She is an intuitive healer & world traveler.  She has helped me come back to my body.  After River died I wasn’t fully present, nor did I want to be.  I would leave my body often.  In her care, I would "travel" away while receiving a healing massage.  Almost 4 years later, I am more present in my body.  It has taken weekly, and now monthly, talk therapy & touch therapy for me to be here.  And, for me to want to be here.

I am going to Bali. Not to run away, not to find love, but to find myself. And, to forgive myself.


p.s. Yoga is something that River & I did together almost everyday.  I really haven’t been able to get back into it since his death.  I get too many flashbacks & it becomes traumatic vs. relaxing & restorative.  I tried to tie in yoga with new & full moon rituals at spaces, but it still didn’t feel quite right for me. So, I am fully immmersing myself into a Cultural & Wellness (yoga) retreat with someone I trust dearly in order to try to overcome my trauma & do something again that brought me so much joy. I am currently actively fighting guilt for going away from (leaving) my family, leaving work behind, & spending money on something I don't really need need-like shelter/food or growing my business.

p.p.s. When Anika said she wanted to do yoga training, but it was kinda expensive....

I knew I wanted to help her, but I just paid my deposit for my trip & that sweet backpack. Yoga practice made me feel my best in the past and what a gift to be able to give that to someone!  If you’d like to donate to her class fee, you can Venmo me @AnndreasArt we can gift her the class!  (We are about half way to paying for her class!  We still need about $150.  If you can give $1 that would help! (Honestly, I think it would be pretty cool to see 100 people give $1 in support of a young adult making self-care and helping others a priority!) Anika will be holding down the fort at ALCHEMY while I am away in Bali too.

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