Eat, Pray, Love…
I am going to Bali. It is never a place I’ve desired to go. Like, ever. I remember watching “Eat, Pray, Love” mostly to hear Eddie Vedder’s voice in the background. I thought how silly it was of her (Julia Roberts) to travel all the way to India/Indonesia/Bali to ask about her shitty relationship. And then, she goes back to basically do it again!
…Now that I am older, I think I understand that even though we may SAY we are doing something, the real reason may be unsaid. Julia Robert’s frenemy at the Guru’s place asked her to forget about the X husband & to FORGIVE HERSELF.
I am just going to say it here. I think I am going to Bali to forgive myself. AND, to give myself permission to live again. I am using it as a renewal of self. A new turning point in life that I am willing into being.
Back in 2012, when I was studying & practicing my psychic & mediumship skills, I met a shaman. I asked her what I should focus my energy on. She told me to just pick one! (Not so easy for this Anndrea!) She also told me I hadn’t hit my “spiritual awakening” yet. (I was kinda taken aback. I had recently gone through my Saturn return. I left my art teaching job and my annual art show goals, & moved 1000 miles north to live in the woods by myself.) She said this to me, “After your two children, you will have some eat-pray-love thing and then have your spiritual awakening”. I remember side-eye looking at my frister, who was taking notes for me, like this lady was crazy! I wasn’t planning on having children and I certainly wasn’t going to be going to Indonesia. I wanted to go to Egypt, duh!
2024:
I have 2 children.
I am going to Bali.
I am not sure how much eat-pray-love I plan on doing. I think it will be more like eat-yoga-love yourself-rest-write…but, what do I know?!
I guess we will see about the spiritually awake part. Time will tell.
I am traveling by myself. Duluth, Chicago, LA, Fiji, Sydney, Bali. I am leaving at 10am on the 23 of January and will arrive in Bali at 22:30 on the 25th of Jan. I am challenging myself & bringing one backpack. I got this super cute colorful carry-on approved one, in case you’re wondering. I picked the "surprise pack" color option & it's awesome! Plus, I was able to get $50 off with some good online coupons.
I will be meeting Katie with Attune Wellness. She is an intuitive healer & world traveler. She has helped me come back to my body. After River died I wasn’t fully present, nor did I want to be. I would leave my body often. In her care, I would "travel" away while receiving a healing massage. Almost 4 years later, I am more present in my body. It has taken weekly, and now monthly, talk therapy & touch therapy for me to be here. And, for me to want to be here.
I am going to Bali. Not to run away, not to find love, but to find myself. And, to forgive myself.
p.s. Yoga is something that River & I did together almost everyday. I really haven’t been able to get back into it since his death. I get too many flashbacks & it becomes traumatic vs. relaxing & restorative. I tried to tie in yoga with new & full moon rituals at spaces, but it still didn’t feel quite right for me. So, I am fully immmersing myself into a Cultural & Wellness (yoga) retreat with someone I trust dearly in order to try to overcome my trauma & do something again that brought me so much joy. I am currently actively fighting guilt for going away from (leaving) my family, leaving work behind, & spending money on something I don't really need need-like shelter/food or growing my business.
p.p.s. When Anika said she wanted to do yoga training, but it was kinda expensive....
I knew I wanted to help her, but I just paid my deposit for my trip & that sweet backpack. Yoga practice made me feel my best in the past and what a gift to be able to give that to someone! If you’d like to donate to her class fee, you can Venmo me @AnndreasArt we can gift her the class! (We are about half way to paying for her class! We still need about $150. If you can give $1 that would help! (Honestly, I think it would be pretty cool to see 100 people give $1 in support of a young adult making self-care and helping others a priority!) Anika will be holding down the fort at ALCHEMY while I am away in Bali too.
